85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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