3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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