yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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