I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
