i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
