Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
