Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize