My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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