Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
