you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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