I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
