they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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