Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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