you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
