she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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