who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize