sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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