You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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