remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he puts the penis in happiness.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
