To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
