My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
