so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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