Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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