you would pick up someone in the library
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
