I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
