The maid of honor just puked.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
