Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize