Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
