if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
