Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
