is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
