i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Sorry about my life...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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