i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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