the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
