I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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