don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
