i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
