note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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