She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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