either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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