butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i believe in u and ur pee
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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