none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
