You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
