Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
