grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
