My first STD was from a foam party
she looked like the before picture.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
