you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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