Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
