Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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