Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
