I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
