I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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