He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
