YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
