He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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