I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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