i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
