I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
