good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
