She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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