guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize